You Needn’t Be Lonely
The Times of India – Speaking Tree publication published “You Needn’t Be Lonely” by Swami Veda Bharati on 7th April 2013. The text reads as follows.
SWAMI VEDA BHARATI takes up a question from seekers that he is frequently asked at satsangs.
I was rejected as a child. I want to feel loved but I do not know how to find love and end my loneliness.
I am often asked many variations of this question. I tell them that there are others who have set an example with their lives; that they had felt rejected, lonely, unloved, and are today the most widely loved individuals with tremendous satisfaction in their lives. How did they do it?
Here are some basic but effective principles:
1. Learn to give love, instead of asking for it.
2. For this, cease to be self-centred, no longer crying inside all the time ‘I was rejected’, ‘I am unloved’, ‘I am lonely’. When you do this, you are reinforcing the same psychology in yourself over and over. People see you and move away because they are afraid about what you might demand.
3. Have no fear in giving; trust in yourself.
Ask yourself, when last have you been in a potluck dinner or a party and filled a plate and gave to someone?
When was the last time you stood in line for food and volunteered your place in line to another?
When was the last time you saw someone feeling cold and put your shawl around her shoulder?
When was the last time you saw someone feeling lonely and gave him a genuine, spontaneous and truly loving smile?
When was the last time you have known that someone is sick and alone and you have gone to take care of him, without expecting thanks?
Loving and not expecting a return is the secret of being loved. However, avoid clinging and save yourself from the temptation of wanting to pour out your own story for hours. If you do this, you lose it. Think of similar selfless ways of loving, without fear of rejection.
Just do it.
Even before you begin to feel that you are being loved, you will begin to feel a sense of satisfaction simply out of the fact that you have been selfless. Also, there are special heart-centre meditations that will help you; but you need to learn these from an experienced, genuine and selfless guide. Go ahead, change your life.